Home (get me out of this crazy place)!



These are word documents with macros that create random rubbish:

(You'll need to have Macros enabled in Word to use them)

Insult Generator

Ye olde Medievil Insult Generator

Yir Scottish Insult Generator

Ye Pirate Insult Generator

Psychobabble Generator

Management Bullshit Generator

Scientific Quantum Bullshit Generator

The insult generator is the only one with any practical application. I use it in counselling to discuss kids reactions to teasing and playground challenges. The others are adapted from it. The Scottish Insult Generator allows you to get into a fight should you go to Glasgow. The Medievil insult generator is for picking fights with fantasy fans and dungeons and dragons nerds (this is slightly more difficult than getting into a fight in Glasgow). The Management Bullshit generator is widely used by Australian managers to write e-mails and memos to banboozle their staff (but of course they will never admit this).

The Scourge of Age Discrimination This is a parody of both some young people's attitudes and of some Men's Rights nonesense.

Paradoxically, this is not paradoxical



Druef's Umbilical Theory



Some rather nice YouTube illusions:

(The fact that our brains are so easily fooled is relevant if you suffer from anxiety, depression or even excessive anger. Try to be aware of when you are viewing the world through unhelpful distorting lenes.)


A few Statistical Facts

80% of our Universe consists of dark matter and dark energy, which we know almost nothing about. Only 20% is normal matter and energy. 
A minute fraction of this matter is contained in planets.
Our planet is just one of 50 billion in our Galaxy.
A tiny proportion of planets can support life as we know it.
All matter is over 99.999999999999% empty space.
Only a minute fraction of living things on Earth are multi-cellular organisms.
There are over 5 million species of bacteria.  There are trillions more individual bacteria than there are other creatures on Earth.
There are 1.2 million species of invertebrates, including almost a million species of insects.
Of the 60,000 species of vertebrates there are approximately 30,000 fish, 10,000 birds, 8,000 reptiles, 6,000 amphibians and only 5,000 species of mammals.  There are even less individual mammals compared to individual fish, birds, reptiles or amphibians.
There are 100 trillion microbes on and in your body, ten microorganisms for every cell or yours, so only 10% of you is actually you.
We are all flying through space, along with our Galaxy, at 600 kms every second!
70% of our bodies are water.
Over 96% of your DNA is identical to a Chimp’s.  50% of your genes are shared with the banana.
Your mother had about 50,000 eggs at puberty, only one of which could have produced you.
You father produced 30 billion sperm the year you were conceived, only one of which would have produced you.
Since they might not have met, married and multiplied the odds against you are at least a trillion to one.  But wait, the odds against your Mum existing were also a trillion to one and so were the odds against your Dad existing.  Same goes for each of your grandparents and great grandparents, etc.
So it is infinitely unlikely that you exist!  Make the most of it!
                                                                                                Eddie Gallagher 2011


Copyright 2010 Eddie Gallagher All Rights Reserved.